Tarot Reader...CRINGE much...

Writing this actually makes me cringe a bit, but I went to see a tarot reader.

I'm not entirely sure I actually believe in it all, I'm a Christian and so I believe in spirits and I believe that there is more once we die.

It gives me comfort.

What I wanted was to talk to someone who could give me answers as to where I go next. I needed to have someone to gently encourage me to make the final leap.

I arrived and instantly I felt comfortable, but every time I swallowed I could feel it, that lump in my throat. What was she going to say? For fucks say please don't tell me anything bad! Like someone's going to die. I don't want to know that shit. I just want you to tell me I'll be ok. That my life isn't going to be crappy forever. That's all. There's the money. Thanks bye.

         Wish she had predicted this!

I won't go into all the boring details of all the cards. But she told me so many things that rang true. The pessimistic person in me says, doesn't everyone go for comfort, reassurance, guidance? It's not difficult to say certain things that all people going through a shit time would feel. The optimist says you didn't waste £20, everything she said was from the spirits! HA!

Actually it's the best £20 I've spent.

She explained how the cards were very organised, like me, that I needed to make some big decisions about a house and I needed to end a relationship. That my future was bright, that I'll be dancing with lots of girls and I will meet someone who is calming. For me the point in which I freaked out is how well she described D, and how he made me feel, I really couldn't have described it better.

How did she know all this?

But as she summed up the whole 2 hours, she said everything all the negative cards had already happened, that I just needed my life literally 'laid out on the table'. The last year was there staring at me in those cards. What I needed to change and that I needed to look forward to the future.

I think she was right, with my thoughts filled with so much crap, I don't have time to reflect on the past. And it's hard to look forward sometimes when you can't see the path you need to follow. In that moment I knew exactly what I needed to do. I sat there feeling energised and excited about what's going to happen next.