A long time ago I wrote how I hoped D would find another lover, that for the sake of my babies they would be kind and considerate. That I could trust her to care for them and comfort them, the same way I do.
Well I think he's found her.
I'm not going to sugar coat it, there are things D and I are still trying to work out between us. Because when you have a children with someone it's hard to just shut off your feelings. It's hard to hate someone that has given you such joy, that you see all the things you loved about them in your beautiful child everyday. But equally it's hard to love someone who has done things that you can't help but resent them for, time has healed and will further. But it's a long process.
Monday's have always been really tough for D and I there's still raw emotion. Resentmeant from both sides and we often bicker about something trivial. But we have both thought it's so important for D and Teddy to have a relationship from the beginning. It's ironic because when I saw the tarot reader she said 'it's like your still in a relationship' it was true people would bump into us in the street they often wouldn't know we had separated and when we told them they would applaud us for being able to go out together for the boys. But actually on those days we both found it strange and uncomfortable. It was a really odd set up, but it worked for us as long as it could.
Then the day after I went to get my cards read A suggested to D that they both take the boys on a Monday. Both D and I know he couldn't have them both on his own, so for A to give up one of her days is pretty amazing. It now means we can have a normal friendship where D and I just drop off. It means hopefully at their birthday party's, graduation (maybe) or wedding (don't come around too fast) we will be there together, best friends enjoying watching our boys grow into men!
So thank you A I know your very busy at work, but It's really taken the pressure off. And of course I get a day to catch up on everything I can't do in the week. So I will take time out on a Monday to keep you updated on all the craziness, that is my life.
