I'm ok with her...

I keep getting asked 'How are you ok with D's girlfriend?' 'No way she hugs them' 'How can you let her hold the boys?' 'You don't let her kiss them?' 'Don't say you'd let her have them on her own' 'I don't understand how you watch her with them, it would make me feel sick' 'I'd be so jealous, your a better person than me' 'What a prick letting her do that in front of you' 'Have you seen that Facebook photo...why would he do that?'

Firstly I wouldn't be happy for her to have them on her own, but that's more an issue with D than her. It's not just the emotional side of being left with someone they don't really know. Its the safety aspect, any parent would understandably worry about whether they would be safe with someone who doesn't have children.

However as far as holding them, kissing them, hugging them, I'm ok with it!

I think if I put them in nursery, they had a childminder or nanny I'd want their carers to treat the boys how I would. I'd want them to make the boys feel safe and secure when they arn't with me.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that at first there was a pull in my heart, a sickness in my throat when I saw A kiss Moo for the first time. There was no jealousy though. I know that to the boys I will always be there Mama. You can see it in there eyes, the way they light up when they see me. When they are sad, I'm the one they run to. When they need reassurance, they come to me to encourage them to go that bit further. As long as I carry on being the best Mama I can, I hope they with always feel the way I do about them. That this bond will only strengthen as the years go on.

Boys day is now boys + girl day...

A long time ago I wrote how I hoped D would find another lover, that for the sake of my babies they would be kind and considerate. That I could trust her to care for them and comfort them, the same way I do. 

Well I think he's found her.

I'm not going to sugar coat it, there are things D and I are still trying to work out between us. Because when you have a children with someone it's hard to just shut off your feelings. It's hard to hate someone that has given you such joy, that you see all the things you loved about them in your beautiful child everyday. But equally it's hard to love someone who has done things that you can't help but resent them for, time has healed and will further. But it's a long process. 

Monday's have always been really tough for D and I there's still raw emotion. Resentmeant from both sides and we often bicker about something trivial. But we have both thought it's so important for D and Teddy to have a relationship from the beginning.  It's ironic because when I saw the tarot reader she said 'it's like your still in a relationship' it was true people would bump into us in the street they often wouldn't know we had separated and when we told them they would applaud us for being able to go out together for the boys. But actually on those days we both found it strange and uncomfortable. It was a really odd set up, but it worked for us as long as it could.

Then the day after I went to get my cards read A suggested to D that they both take the boys on a Monday. Both D and I know he couldn't have them both on his own, so for A to give up one of her days is pretty amazing. It now means we can have a normal friendship where D and I just drop off. It means hopefully at their birthday party's, graduation (maybe) or wedding (don't come around too fast) we will be there together, best friends enjoying watching our boys grow into men! 

So thank you A I know your very busy at work, but It's really taken the pressure off. And of course I get a day to catch up on everything I can't do in the week. So I will take time out on a Monday to keep you updated on all the craziness, that is my life. 

Tarot Reader...CRINGE much...

Writing this actually makes me cringe a bit, but I went to see a tarot reader.

I'm not entirely sure I actually believe in it all, I'm a Christian and so I believe in spirits and I believe that there is more once we die.

It gives me comfort.

What I wanted was to talk to someone who could give me answers as to where I go next. I needed to have someone to gently encourage me to make the final leap.

I arrived and instantly I felt comfortable, but every time I swallowed I could feel it, that lump in my throat. What was she going to say? For fucks say please don't tell me anything bad! Like someone's going to die. I don't want to know that shit. I just want you to tell me I'll be ok. That my life isn't going to be crappy forever. That's all. There's the money. Thanks bye.

         Wish she had predicted this!

I won't go into all the boring details of all the cards. But she told me so many things that rang true. The pessimistic person in me says, doesn't everyone go for comfort, reassurance, guidance? It's not difficult to say certain things that all people going through a shit time would feel. The optimist says you didn't waste £20, everything she said was from the spirits! HA!

Actually it's the best £20 I've spent.

She explained how the cards were very organised, like me, that I needed to make some big decisions about a house and I needed to end a relationship. That my future was bright, that I'll be dancing with lots of girls and I will meet someone who is calming. For me the point in which I freaked out is how well she described D, and how he made me feel, I really couldn't have described it better.

How did she know all this?

But as she summed up the whole 2 hours, she said everything all the negative cards had already happened, that I just needed my life literally 'laid out on the table'. The last year was there staring at me in those cards. What I needed to change and that I needed to look forward to the future.

I think she was right, with my thoughts filled with so much crap, I don't have time to reflect on the past. And it's hard to look forward sometimes when you can't see the path you need to follow. In that moment I knew exactly what I needed to do. I sat there feeling energised and excited about what's going to happen next.

Betrayal...

Sorry I haven't written for a while, in all honesty I don't know what to write. My mini break was really quite emotional and exhausting. It had made me open the box I had put away deep in my heart the day I left D. The one that I kept putting all the thoughts and feelings I didn't want to address or more, had time to over the past year in.

So much has changed and so it keeps changing. Just as I came back from my break D told me he was moving in with his girlfriend. It feels as if just as I process and heal from one major change, I'm dealt another and I just can't keep on top of it all.

I wrote a long post about EVERYTHING but I deleted it. Actually it was the best thing I could of done. I realised that if the box had a name on it, it would be betrayal. I have felt betrayed by everything that D has done the last year. 

Being away from the boys meant I could open the box honestly, I was shocked that it bought out anger and frustration. I didn't sleep well the whole weekend and my days were spent thinking through every fine little detail of the last year.

It was draining.

On the last night of my break I found messaging D all of my thoughts and feelings really cathartic and healing. I'd let it all out, there was nothing left hiding in my box.

When I came back the next day I was free. It's finished. I'm ready to move forward. 

Deflated...

So here I am deflated, I've had to cancel my two nights away for my friends hen do. It's days like this I feel sad I'm a single parent. Not sad that I'm not with D. Sad for myself, at how hard my life is and will be for a long time.

My trip had been planned for months and months, but unfortunately a catalyst of events have meant that I have no one to care for the boys. Both my Mum and Sister are really poorly and D recently also booked a trip away the same weekend (yes I was fucked off-Mamas you get it).

It's hard enough for me to leave the boys anyway, I haven't left Teddy over night since he was born. I think I could count on one hand the nights I've had away from Moo. I haven't been out on a night out without D in almost 3 1/2 years. I haven't been abroad in 4 years.

I'd pinned so much on this weekend away. Emotionally I'm drained, every minute of everyday I give everything I have to the boys. Being around D is also very emotionally exhausting for both of us, the feeling of hurt doesn't just go away because we aren't together anymore.

I  really needed to have some time to empty my mind of all the shit that's happened in the breakdown of my relationship and with D moving on. At times it can be all consuming. 

What I find really tough as well is I don't have anyone at the end of the day to fill up my emotional tank. That person to reassure you your doing a great job, that your a wonderful Mama, kiss you softly in appreciation for bring up their babies.

Then I'm also physically knackered, like a lot of parents I hardly have a second in the day to myself. I've only just managed to stay awake long enough in the evening to read a few pages of a book or watch something on t.v once the boys are asleep. And going out in the evening is near impossible as once the boys are finally asleep, I have to pray that the boys don't wake up once I've left them with someone. I hate to ask people for help and I hate being a burden.

I guess I'd hoped this weekend would rejuvenate me, give me the extra energy I need to get the big projects done. That I could lie in the sun and plan what's next. I guess I need to get my shit together regardless... watch this space.

Sadly this is likely the last opportunity for a while to take some time away, once I'm back at work and Moo has settled in at nursery I'll need to save my holiday. Just incase one of the boys is sick or my parents go away on holiday (I'd have to take the week off work too to have the boys) also I'd like to take them away on a holiday next year. 

I never really appreciated how hard being a single parent is. 

To my single Mama friend who always used to get pissed off if we cancelled a night out. I'm sorry I didn't understand how hard it is to get one night to yourself. How tricky and how much preparation goes into getting all your shit together for one night. How fucking crap it made you feel relying on someone else. I now understand how utterly disappointing and frustrating that made you feel! I'm sorry!

Piss off Facebook!

I've finally quit Facebook, it's probably not going to be forever, but the last few months I've found myself flicking through the posts and not really absorbing anything, because it's full of crap!

The only reason I go on there now is to nosy at people's lives...most of them more boring than mine. I've also found I'm bland as fuck too, I literally have nothing to write. 

I don't want to waste my life on shit that's taking anymore time away from the boys. I'm also getting rid of Twitter, I haven't given it a chance I'm not going to lie, but I simply don't have the time to figure it out, so it's gone.

I'm currently loving Instagram though, it's introducing me to lots of different people and some amazing bloggers. Has really helped me through the last year tackling some really difficult subjects and emotions! And for a bit of fun I'm playing around with snapchat, it's brilliant, I'd highly recommend it! Add me at mamateddyandmoo.I

FUCK YOU PERIOD...I think...

This week I'm not sure how much chocolate I've eaten, I couldn't even estimate, that's how much!! 

And tonight I cried...

Now first of all we had a full moon-that shit fucks everyone up!! I've seen SO many crazies on a full moon! 

I also reckon my shitty periods due, I don't know defiantly because I'm shit at remembering when my last one was. But you know woman's instinct and all that!

Anyway the realisation fell on me again, how hard it's going to be on my own-emotionally. Everything is on me. The boys rely purely on me for all emotional support. And it drains you. 

Today has been relentless, on top of a tough week of sickness.

I came to the realisation as well today I haven't had a day to myself for almost 6 months. No wonder I'm emotional. The hours turn into days and the weeks turn into months. I think I'm going to have to pull in a few favours and take a day 'off'.

I pick them up when they fall, I cuddle them tight when they feel insecure, I kiss them to make them feel content, I wipe away their tears as quickly as I can and hold them until their little hearts beat at the same pace as mine.

Its days like this I do miss D, I miss the good D the supportive one that would come and wrap his arms tightly around me and a kiss me on the forehead. Take Moo and let me have a few moments to get my shit together. I wish I could phone D up and vent and explode, but it's not the same anymore. 

Our brains and our hearts are wonderful things, they make us forget the past pains so that we can survive and move on. Those tight cuddles and kisses with D were so few and far between in the end, that I'd forgotten until today they even ever happened.

Today I feel weak, but it's one day a month, tomorrow I will wake up with my period, go for a long walk with the boys, and I'll feel strong again.

Cutting out the bullshit!

'He's trying to protect me' 

But actually he's making me paranoid and anxious.

For much of our relationship I relied on D for his honesty, there were things I didn't know (I'm not kidding myself) and lot of things I chose to ignore. But I felt secure that D told me the things I wanted to, to feel secure.

So now D sort of avoids stating the obvious, rather than say he is going to his girlfriend he sayes he's going to the city in which she lives! After pointing this out to D that its abit weird. We both laughed about it, he doesn't want to rub it in that he's moved on with someone else which I totally get!

But actually I'd find it so much easier to get on with my life knowing that he's telling me the whole picture. Or as much as he can. Saying he's meeting his girlfriend, staying at her house or going away in no way upsets me. I know it's happening all the time, that's what happens when your in a new relationship!

In fact in makes me happy he's happy.

So there it is no bullshitting around! Problem solved!

Textless...

I've decided not to message D anymore, every time we text we keep disagreeing or arguing. 

We simply don't understand each other. It's getting to the point where it's a daily occurrence and I think it's getting us both down.

We also get frustrated if one of us doesn't answer the text straight away. But of course life takes over and for whatever reason it's not always possible.

I've suggested we just talk on the phone or in person. So we fully understand each other's words and tone. Also when D does phone he can talk to Moo. We have gone days talking to each other, I'll send photos of the boys and give updates ontheir  day. But we forget to involve Moo. And boy does he love talking on the phone to Papa. 

It's crazy since I've done this how many of my friends are having the same problems with their partners!

We started yesterday and what a difference it's made! Today we spoke a lot, yes we bickered and disagreed, but I felt like I could explain myself better. And I have so much more free time!

Tonight I can relax in the knowledge that D is enjoying his evening and so am I! 

Textless! 

Coparenting bullshit...

Coparenting is such a bullshit word, because we're not really CO-parenting when your a single parent! 

I parent all day, every day, all week and D parents 15 hours a week sometimes less.

Yet we have to share all our decisions, and parenting choices based on this ratio. 

The reason we aren't together is because we are so different, every thing about us are polar opposites! It makes making a decision where to go and eat fucking hard, let along how to react to Moo's sensitive moments (tantrums). 

We were also bought up very differently so our approach to parenting has again been completely different. 

Generally our discussions on parenting become an argument. Because we just can't understand each other.

I've also developed this worry: that the boys will become less important to him now we aren't together. Its niggling at me and making me anxious inside. For me the boys will always be my priority, they consume my mind, I think of little else. I know when I meet someone this won't change!

It's since D has been spending most evenings with his new girlfriend and then his days off too, the boys have become less of a priority. D of course has Moo but it's again with his girlfriend!

I'm panicking that he will have another family with his girlfriend and just as I was his last thought in the last year we were together, the boys could be an after thought to his new life!

Of course D reasures me it isn't the case, he loves the boys and I and it'll never happen...I can't help but think BULLSHIT! I'm obviously in a very pessimistic place right now! HA!

D will feel the same I'm sure when I find someone. It is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it. But right now I'm nervous about the future. I know it's natural and I'm just going through the motions everyone does. But I wish I could just forget about it for now!

How to make it work with your EX...

Unfortunately this isn't a how to post, more a what the fuck do I do post!

How do you move on from a relationship that broke down and stay friends for the children?

It's becoming harder and harder for D and I to actually spend time alone with each other. Every time we see each other we argue.

Of course if we didn't have Teddy we wouldn't actually need to see each other at all. But I think it's so important for Teddy to have D in his life, the same way Moo does. 

D has said he isn't sure if he could look after both the boys yet, while Teddy is so young. A lot of my friends see this a cop out, 'if you can do it why can't he?!' I actually believe that it takes a lot of guts and a huge gulp of pride to admit you can't handle a newborn and a toddler. I'd rather that than two upset boys who don't get the best of D! 

Unfortunatly for D and I it means we have  a really unusual situation to contend with.

What I'm finding works well at the moment is to be out some where like a playgroup or soft play. It keeps us distracted as we are busy looking after the boys-too busy to talk let alone bicker.

I wanted to stay amicable so badly for the boys, to have a good strong relationship with thier Papa. 

But I'm afraid he holds a lot of deep resentment towards me still for leaving. 

To D I think he feels that I have in some way made thier relationship less than it was when we lived together. And I resent the fact I feel he isn't there when I need him. 

We both parent very differently, neither of us can understand the other.

Many single Mama's I have talked to are shocked at how much I have involved D. How flexible I am, insuring I invite him to anything fun we may be doing and letting him see the boys anytime.

But I think Moo is starting to become aware of an atmosphere that is sometimes created when D and I are together. That needs to change! 

On the flip of that Teddy is comming out of his colic and screaming stage. And we are blessed with a very smiley, content boy who charms the pants off D. So there relationship is growing in leaps and bounds.

I hope we will come to some sort of compromise, maybe time is a healer and it will naturally get easier as the boys get older. 

Eventually D will be able to take them both out together and then we will probably only need to see each other for picking and dropping off, school plays and birthday party's!

I'll keep you updated as much as I can!

Seeing the first photo...what a bitch that was...

So here I am a weekend of intense...everything...

I've been giving out more cuddles than Diana did in her whole career, cleaning up milk sick and proper sick, the chunk kind. 

This happened, might I add after a Chinese that I had be wanting for like my whole fucking life. 

Then having to bribe my sick covered son into the bath at 10pm at night, by getting in as well! All the while him squeezing his arms around my neck, determined not to let go. Prizing his Pyjamas off of course he obviously wanted kept on-he was cold.

I'm trying not to gag. Meanwhile Mums fishing through the sick to figure out what he ate to see if he's allergic to anything and stripping the bed.

Then on little sleep and in between making sure I don't feel like a shitty Mama for not spending anytime with them, I'm cleaning our flat ready to get our deposit back on Tuesday! Hate moving and hate deposits!

*Sorry wait there while I cuddle Moo as he's woken up-he's too hot.*

*I've just winded Teddy-he's projectile vomited down my back.*

So I'm quickly scrolling down my Facebook feed, and there it is the photos I'd be preparing myself for...

D with his 'girlfriend' out partying hard, it's the first picture I've seen of them together. Obviously any other Mama reading this is gonna think prick. Yes right now at 1pm in the morning I'm thinking exactly the pissing same.

*Hang on I'm being called for another cuddle. Moo can't sleep, it's too windy, he HAS to sleep with Nana and Gra Gra...WINNING!*

*No he's back*

*He's asleep*

But then the heart stopper there they are with D's friends, all of them people I tried so hard to get along with for 12 years, partying like them, drinking like them, laughing like them, liking their music, determined to one day go to a festival-like them (unlikely), the list goes on.  

But I wasn't like them. 

I guess ultimately I just wanted to be accepted by them and by D.

For them to like me.

We moved often and so when I was back of course I wanted to spend time with my family. But the last three years have been hard. I've either been pregnant, had post baby body confidence battles, had a newborn baby or bringing up my baby's.

I haven't had the energy to party. I haven't had the time because if D was out I didn't have anyone to look after Moo! 

Yes they have probably thought I haven't made the effort, that I've been rude and haven't bothered! 

I always ask myself, am I jealous? Because I think it's such a horrible and dangerous emotion. But I'm not I'm just sad that I wasted my younger years trying to be someone I'm not. 

By loosing D's friends I haven't lost anything, I've gained a better understanding of who I am, who I need to be and to stay true to myself. 

And as for going out, I'll go out soon, the summer is fast approaching, I'll be back at work and hopefully Teddy will be sleeping better

And as one of my best work/Mama friends had promised 'I'm gunna get you kissed.'

I'll keep you posted on my kisses!

Ramblings...

I've been asked a lot since D has met someone else, how I feel?

It's been a very l o n g year.

This time last year our relationship broke down, there were two weeks of intense arguing and he lost me.

He lost my heart because it couldn't hurt anymore. 

I couldn't cry anymore there were no tears left.

I left and with it left the younger me. The one that was innocent and fell hard for D. So hard I couldn't see our relationship for what it was. 

For years we were best friends and that was what I was scared of loosing. D is a wonderful friend not just to me but to everyone. He was my alias. When we laughed, we laughed hard. Our cuddles were tight and strong.

But the draining days and stormy evenings were dark.

As Jennifer Garner described so brilliantly of her relationship with Ben Affleck:

'I married him. And I would go back and remake that decision.'

'He’s the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He’s just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.'

This decribes exactly how I felt.

Now I know all this, yet every time I think of D with someone else I feel sad. Not distraught or destroyed. Just sad. Sad for the things I have lost.

It's funny because when we initially broke up everyone described it as sad, but I wasn't sad, I was relieved that one of us finally stood up and walked away.

Yes I have been comparing myself to her even though I don't know her, a challenge in itself, I think once I meet her actually all that will probably fade away and I pray that we'll get along.

I think the first person after you is always the hardest, I think that actually D's new 'girlfriend' is perhaps his soul mate. It's hard for me to admit that because of course I always thought I was. But I think in the most recent months both D and I know we aren't. We are best friends-and that's different. 

I have so many questions that fill my head each night...

Could she be my babies StepMama one day? 

She probably wants children, is she good enough in my eyes to have my children's siblings? 

Is she a good role model? 

If I died (YES I've thought of EVERYTHING) could I trust her to bring up the boys as I would like?

Will she wrap my boys up in love if they fall? 

Could she explain to them the complexities of life-such as relationships?

I don't know these yet, but from what D has said of her-she probably would be a perfect StepMama.

I have to remind myself the reasons I am not with D anymore. Daily and sometimes hourly. At night it is worse-when I'm doing the night feeds and I don't have Moo to distract me, I can over think things.

But I know I'm going through the motions, I'm grieving. And that's OK.

If we had stayed together we would have caused our beautiful boys so much upset. THATS what I have to keep reminding myself of and that the choice I made, is probably the best and most important decision I have ever made.

I'm happy now, I'm just abit shattered. 

I think there's always going to be some resentment there. While D has gone out and met someone, I've spent the last year each night on my own. Either pregnant or doing endless night feeds. As a single Mama it's almost impossible for me to go and meet my friends, let alone have a relationship. I simply don't have the time or energy! 

I guess I wish D had waited till Teddy was 6 months, so that I could of built up my confidence and address my insecurites that us Mama's develop after we have babies.

But you can't plan when your going to meet someone! That's life and I intend to live and enjoy it again! 

This week we got away curtesy of Mum and Dad! It's been so refreshing, my mind is clear now its amazing what a bit of fresh sea air can do!

Next thing on the list, love myself again!

Emotionally, physically and financially

This week I have felt physical and mentally drained.

I've developed an awful cold, with tiering headaches. I'm eating lots of crap and that's making me feel cruddy too. I'm an emotional eater and so unfortunately they come hand in hand.

The boys Papa and I have had a really tough week. Neither of us agree on our parenting techniques and this is just getting harder and harder.

I've also decided that I'm going to move back into my parents house. There are so many reasons why. Right now it's what I need-again emotionally, physically and financially.

I'll keep you posted as much as I can over the next few weeks-although I think they are gunna be very busy!

I just have to keep remembering everyday that the boys are my priority. Everything I do I do for them. They make me so happy and keep my heart full of love!

How could their smiles make me feel anything else!

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day my first on my own for over ten years! Wish I could say I was bothered, but genuinely not. 

I thought I'd treat myself to an orchid and some chocolates! The 'boys' curtesy of Mum kindly bought me some roses and a card.

I'm actually quite enjoying Valentine's Day I feel liberated and free. No expectations and no disappointments!

Can't believe he's mine...

Nearly Four months old, can't believe how lucky I am to have you Beautiful boy!

Good morning

As I dream feed Teddy it reminded me of our early 6.30am alarm clock-Moo! Even though the day had just begun, and with the sun not even poking out from the horizon.

The three of us were already laughing lots  as Moo and I made shadow puppets! I managed successfully a duck and rabbit and Moo a Ba Ba (Dummy) and a bird!

It was short lived though-as Moo needed a poo! 

Being super organised...

All set for another day:

-Slow cooker on ready for dinner tomorrow

-Flat clean and tidy 

-All bathed (including myself)

-Clothes all set out ready

-Bags packed

In the morning first thing I do is get the boys and myself dressed! I find that way if I need to run out for whatever reason we are dressed. I can brush teeth, eat breakfast and buy formula out if need be.

Then breakfast, Moo sits really well at the table-he watches some t.v and I use this time to make Teddy's bottles. My breakfast is yogurt, oats and fruit. That way I can eat it when I can throughout the morning!

Brush teeth, Bjorn on, Teddy on, coats on, bags on and we run! 

Single Parent + Two kids + One Bed Apartment =

When D and I fell pregnant with Moo we had little money and no secure jobs. It made sense to stay in Bath as it was where our family and friends lived. I'd also always wanted to live back in the city.

At the time all we could afford was a one bed apartment, it was in an ideal location literally a stones throw from the shops and from the salon in which I was lined up to work in. We figured once we were more stable financially and our baby was maybe six months we'd look at moving again. After all they say that a baby should stay in your room for at least six months.

Two years on her I am a single parent of two, still in a one bed apartment, and I'm kinda stuck. I am receiving housing benefits, which I feel very fortunate to have but unfortunately there's a stigma attached to this, and so I'm struggling to find landlords that will accept me. Secondly I'm not considered priority as I have two boys and one is under one years old. So I'm on a rather long waiting list for a council house.

It may suprise you that actually space isn't a problem, I live in a Georgian house and so the rooms are very large. But there are a few things that I really struggle with:

-I live on the first floor, carrying up two napping children, especially a two year old is hard. So we stay in for naps generally.

-Food shopping logistically is hard as there isn't anywhere outside to park, and then carrying it upstairs is impossible as I can't leave the kids. So I always order online as they carry up the boxes for me.

-I have to co-sleep as there isn't enough room for a cot and a bed for Moo.

-There isn't a garden, of course this isnt a necessity, but running after a two year old and looking after a newborn, going to a park if I'm being honest fills me with fear.

The reason I'm writing this is to encourage those like myself that live in a one bed place that need some tips on how to make it work. And having said the above, I love my apartment and if I was in a ground floor apartment, with on street parking and a garden I'd be happy.

Tips for one bedroom apartment living:

-Have a clear out regularly, I use my quarterly house inspection as good spring clean. Anything I don't use I take to a charity shop, sell on ebay or throw away.

-All my furniture doubles as storage. Ive got some great pieces all from Ikea that literally have made such a difference to our floor space. So important for two year olds to run around in. This large cabinet is our cuboard come baby changing table. It holds all of Teddys clothes, nappies and wet wipes.

NOTE: This photo was taken at night once all the toys were tidied!

-My living/dinning/playroom can change for each occasion. By day its covered in toys. For dinner I can pull out our table to entertain friends. Also my chairs fold away and are stored inside the table! I also have a rather large built in cuboard to the right of the play tent for storage-I need to get around to sorting that out again!

By night it's my space...to relax...with all my lovely pretty bits.

Our Home.